A Plea for Sanity

Backstory: Our family's computer was given to us in 1998. We also still have dial-up. This is the persuasive essay that Anissa & I wrote and then presented to our parents yesterday afternoon:

Struggling, sweating, desperately sprinting toward the pinpoint of light at the end of the tunnel that has long been his pitiful, deprived life, he writhes in pain to release the cumbersome shackles of ancient technology. As rivulets of hot blood stream from his swollen ankles, the load of his motherboard which had so long entangled him at last released its horrid grip. With shallow gasps of reluctant victory, he runs full stride with unfettered ambition.

Likewise, our family, on the brink of this new technological era has long been struggling against the advancement and benefits of a new computer. We believe that we are fast approaching the edge of the cliff, that deep abyss that our ancient desktop computer will drag us into.

First of all, a new computer would open up countless opportunities for advancement, allowing us to fully embrace the twenty-first century. The infinitely greater speed at which our computer would function would enable us to broaden our horizons and envision the innumerable opportunities that this age offers.

Secondly, a new computer would prolong our lives and enrich our well-being. Consider the many instances when you have beheld that abominable paused screen, or received the irritating message that the computer's memory is incapable of handling a situation, or realized that it must be restarted... for the seventeenth time that day. You feel your blood boil in anger, your heart pound with frustration, and your head ache in grief over the hours of work that will forever be lost. The physical trauma that such problems evoke could be easily solved by purchasing a new computer.

Finally, and most importantly, a new computer would add hours to our days, truly bringing home the adage that "time is money." Indeed, with a slight financial investment, we could maximize opportunities to spend time with the people who matter most to us, rather than arguing over a lifeless machine. Furthermore, in the light of eternity, which matters more - checking one's email, or family devotions?

Therefore, for all these reasons - to usher us into the twenty-first century, to bring us countless health benefits, and to salvage hours of valuable time each day, we believe that a new computer is a necessary and vital aspect to our well-being and future. Not only that, but if we got a new computer, we wouldn't have to waste time writing mindless essays like this.

Last night our family was discussing Anissa's future job possibilities. She's going to major in English at Bryan, so she said something about journalism/editing... But right now, her high school job has been working in Publix. So we facetiously said she could just continue working there and be a missionary at the same time! She could incorporate lots of Scripture verses with everything and become the grocery store chaplain. Here are some examples of signs she could put up in respective areas of the grocery store:

• above the door: "Thou shalt not steal"
• in the bakery: "Man shall not live by bread alone"
• in the deli: "Follow Jesus cold turkey!"
• with the beauty products: "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain"
• with the baby products: "For unto us a child is born," OR "Have you been born again?"
• with the coffees/teas: "Be sober, be vigilant..."
• with the canned goods: "I CAN do all things through Christ Who strengthens me!"
• with the nonperishables like sugar, flour, dressing, spices, etc.: "We are working for imperishable crowns in heaven!"
• in the ethnic food section: "Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel..."
• with the cereals: "His mercies are new every morning"
• in the candy section: "Children, obey your parents" OR "His Word was found, and I did eat, and it was sweeter than honey to my mouth"
• with the bottled waters: "well up with springs of living water"
• in the wine and spirits section: "Drink ye all of it."
• with the cards: "Encourage one another"
• with the magazines: "Whatever is true, pure, just, honest... think on these things"
• in the produce section: "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, meekness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."
• on the frozen food aisles: "It's cool to be a Christian!"
• with the breads: "This is my Body which was broken for you..."
• with the milk: "He owns the cattle on a thousand hills," OR "Moooove over and let Jesus take control of your life!"
• in the florist: "GROW in the grace and knowledge of our Lord"
• with the cleaning supplies: "Cleanse your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, you double-minded"
• in the pharmacy: "Jesus is the Great Physician"
• random: "Ketchup to Jesus!"
• in the meats: "No bones about it - Jesus is the way to go!"
• with the cheeses: "Smile, Jesus loves you!"
• in the cakes: "When's your spiritual birthday?"
• on the pet aisle: "all creatures of our God and King"
• at the checkout counter: "Render to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."
• in the bathroom: "Purge the sin from your body!"

"I hope a cockroach falls into my water" and "I just saved that breadstick from falling into eternity!" - these are just a few of the off-the-wall quotes that can be heard in the Meberg house tonight. As you can imagine, a lot has happened since I last blogged. This May has been a rather tumultuous month... here's a quick summary:

• The month began by going on a senior trip with a few of my best friends... we went camping at Myrtle Beach. There are too many stories to tell right now. Suffice it to say that it was a lot of fun.
• I graduated from college. Not the best day of my life. Not only did I have to say goodbye to my friends and pack up all my belongings from the dorm room, but also on this same day, at the same time that I was graduating...
• My grandma died. She was 96, and we were really close, so we miss her a lot. But she was so excited to be going home - it was difficult not to celebrate at her funeral.
• My time at home so far has gone by so quickly! We rearranged the bedroom I share with my 3 sisters, so now there's actually room for all my stuff, and our room actually looks more open! Then my grandma's visitation and funeral service and all the preparations... and Anissa's graduating at the end of this month! (We went to her Baccalaureate service this morning.)
• I've been working on some special projects for my friends since April, and this week especially I've been focusing all my energy on them. I really hope they get done this week, because...
• I'M GOING TO ENGLAND!!!!!!! I'm leaving on June 1 to do a 2 month internship with a missions organization and their communication team. Within this last month especially, I have been amazed at how much of my support has come in - I needed $4,000 to begin with, and now all I need is $575! Praise be to the Lord, Who continues to be faithful!

4 years ago today... this is what I blogged:

so... last night i had an adventure...

i went with four other girls to pocket wilderness. we were going to go while it was still light outside, but we ended up going to a ballet instead. so we left around 9, and it was still a little light. but anyway, we got about halfway up the dirt road to pocket when suddenly the car ran out of gas! no problem... we called our friend cassie marie to bring us some gas, which she did (about 45 minutes later). meanwhile we had a great time singing and taking pictures in the car as it grew dark outside...

so then when she and her roommate finally came with the gas, we tried to start the car, and... it wouldn't start. we waited a bit, and... it still wouldn't start. so a car drove by, and two guys stopped to help us. they couldn't figure out what was wrong, so they called their friends (one of whom was apparently a mechanic) who were already up at pocket, so about six more guys joined us to try to help get the car started. well... among their tipsiness and their every-other-word-was-an-expletive and the lighting of their cigarettes over the car's engine, they still did not get the car started. however, they turned "the #@!* car" around so it could coast in neutral down "the !@#* mountain" ...after inviting us to stay the night and go camping with them (we politely refused).

so once we got to the bottom of the mountain back onto the main road, we tried to start the car and... the battery was dead. so... we all had to pile into cassie marie's car. now, due to some storage problems, she had only three seats available in her car... including the driver's seat. so... with her sitting in the driver's seat, we crammed five people into two seats and headed back to the college around 11:45 pm. about halfway there, we noticed a police car following us. and it kept following us. cassie told us all to be really still so he might think we were just some stuff instead of people. and we all prayed. and he didn't pull us over! yay! so then some guys on campus went back with courtney to jumpstart her car and get more gas and it's all good now. we went back to pocket this afternoon for about an hour, and that was fun.

so... there's going to be a power outage in the entire city of dayton tonight. from about midnight til 4 am. that'll be fun, taking a shower in the dark...

Oh, the memories!

Last day of Easter hymns!

Jesus, Lord, Redeemer
Jesus, Lord, Redeemer, once for sinners slain,
Crucified in weakness, raised in pow'r, to reign,
Dwelling with the Father, endless in Your days,
Unto You be glory, honor, blessing, praise.

Faithful ones, communing toward the close of day,
Desolate and weary, met you in the way.
So, when sun is setting, come to us and show
All the truth; and in us make our hearts to glow.

In the upper chamber, where the ten in fear
Gathered sad and troubled, there You did appear.
So, O Lord, this evening, bid our sorrows cease;
Breathing on us, Savior, say, "I give you peace."

• written by Patrick Kirkland in 1857

All the Sacrifice Is Ended
All the sacrifice is ended,
Breathed His body’s latest breath,
And His human Soul hath wended
Where the weary rest beneath;
Christ as Man hath comprehended
All the human law of death!

Yet not there His Soul remaineth
Nor His body in the tomb:
Lo! what sudden glory gaineth
Quick dominion o’er the gloom!
Yea, o’er death and hell He reigneth
Bursting back the gates of doom!

Manifold the attestation
Brethren tell the marvel o’er,
And the soldiers from their station,
And the angels at the door,
And His own Word’s revelation,
“Lo! I live for evermore.”

Hail, thou morn of resurrection,
Primal holy Easter Day!
Now the hours of deep dejection
’Neath the night-clouds’ dark array,
Foes’ reviling, friends’ defection,
In thy glory pass away!

Now He lives and reigns for ever!
That we too may enter in
Where eternal life shall never
Taste of sorrow or of sin,
Where from Him no death shall sever
Those He vanquished death to win.

Savior! in our night of weeping
Tell us of the joyful morn,
Guard our souls, their vigil keeping
In the hours of hate and scorn
Raise us falling, wake us sleeping,
Till our Easter Day be born.

• written by Samuel Stone in 1866